Your Best Lent Ever!

This article was adapted from the classic email message Bud Macfarlane, founder of the Mary Foundation, sent out over two decades ago—his most popular message ever.

An Organizing Principle

My only goal is to help your Lent get off to an excellent start this year. Let us being with...a conceit. Huh? A what?

As some of us may recall from English class in the olden days, a conceit, according the fourth definition of the third meaning of the noun in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, is (drumroll please): "an organizing principle."

A Lent well-lived needs an organizing principle. May we suggest that your conceit for this Lent be:

Go for it!

Don't Waste Another Lent

We only have so many years on this earth and to waste another Lent (you know who you are—and I'm just as guilty, too) is just plain subpar for a believing Catholic. Challenge yourself spiritually this year.

Choose difficult mortifications. Give up your most favorite things. Fast more often than ever before. Commit to prayer or daily Mass or Good Friday devotions like never before. Pray the Daily Prayers to Save America every day to implore God to deliver our nation from evil:

Operation True Cross

Ignore Modernist Propaganda

By the way, all the lazy, ridiculous modernist propaganda to not give up anything for Lent in recent decades and instead "just be nice and help people" is lazy, ridiculous modernist propaganda designed to rationalize not doing anything for Lent. We all know it.

Mortification—prayer, fasting, sacrificial good works, giving up things we love—is a very positive way of walking with Jesus, who did these things, taught his apostles to do them, and gave up His very life by being beaten, whipped, tortured, and crucified. Gaze upon His holy face.

Mortification—prayer, fasting, sacrificial good works, giving up things we love—is a very positive way of walking with Jesus, who did these things, taught his apostles to do them, and gave up His very life by being beaten, whipped, tortured, and crucified!

Gaze upon His holy face.

More Catholic Than the Pope

This is the only time of year when it is, in fact, a good idea to be more Catholic than a pope. So plan today, right now, to look back upon Easter Sunday knowing that you did your very best to grow closer to Jesus and to help Him atone for sin.

Do not squander another Lent!

"I Can't Give That Up!"

Some of you are motivated. Some of you are groaning. Others are nodding (hopefully in agreement, not off into sleep). Many stopped reading after the word "conceit."

And, now, for our famous Ulitimate Lent List (including many contributions from our benefactors over the years). Our goal is to prompt you to exclaim: "Oh no, not that! I can't give that up!"

Yeah, we (and you) are looking for the perfect Oh-No-Not-That to give up because this year, our conceit is Go. For. It!

Doubling and Tripling Up

And remember, there is no prohibition from doubling up, or choosing three, five, or seven things for Your Best Lent Ever. We know that many of you have been intending to get off your duffs and do several of the following for years (and even decades—and again, you know who you are, and get in line behind me).

Print it out. Highlight your choices. Share and discuss with family members or your best friend.

Better yet, prayerfully beg Christ Crucified and Our Lady of Sorrows to choose for you.

I can only offer this bold encouragement because I am weak, slothful, wimpy, selfish, vain, lazy, prideful, ashamed, and cowardly.

Here are some suggestions to get into the spirit of Go For It, followed by helpful hints for children, something about death, and inspiring "death bed" quotes from saints.

THE ULTIMATE LENT LIST

1. Pray the Rosary every day.
2. Join Operation True Cross to help God save America.
3. Receive Communion at Mass every day.
4. Go to Confession every Friday or once a week.
5. Pray the Family Rosary every day or once a week.
6. Pray the Stations of the Cross every Friday.
7. Pray in silence 15 minutes a day.
8. Make a Eucharistic visit every day.
9. Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet every day.
10. Fast on bread (or potatoes) and water one to three times per week.
11. Read a spiritual book (Do my novels count? You decide).
12. Give a seriously large donation to charity. (Try adding an extra "zero" when you write the check.)
13. Donate to charity instead of buying something for yourself.
14. Pray "Jesus, I love you!" in the first waking seconds of the day.
15. Listen to Catholic talks during your commute.
16. Do something romantic or sacrificial to improve your marriage.
17. Volunteer anywhere: at your kid's school, homeless shelter, etc.
18. Visit a home for the elderly.
19. Read a Gospel or all four Gospels.
20. Memorize ten favorite Bible verses.
21. Join an Exodus 90 group.
22. Join a 40 Days for Life prayer vigil.
23. Did we mention fasting one to three times a week?
24. Distribute Mary Foundation materials in nearby parishes.
25. Distribute The Warning.
26. Oh, why not? Pray in silence for an hour every day.
27. Set more time aside to be with your children or grandchildren.
28. Choose someone you have difficulty getting along with, or someone who needs extra love, and treat them daily or weekly with special kindness.
29. Help friends and relatives gain freedom from demonic influence and deeply-rooted sin.
30. Pray the Daily Prayers to Save America.
31. Try Father Boughton's amazing 33 Days of Forgiveness spiritual exercise.
32. Text or call a different loved one every morning with a kind word.
33. Give someone a Purple Scapular to protect their home.
34. Pray the Auxilum Christianorum exorcism prayers.
35. Give up something you absolutely love, crave, or spend time on, or that annoys others, including:

• lying
• your cellphone (or texting, shopping online, etc.)
• television or your favorite television show
• television before a certain hour
• television after a certain hour
• eating while watching television
• coffee or tea (yes, coffee)
• Starbuck's, Dunkin, etc.
• caffeine in any form
• diet soda (or soda)
• donuts
• hamburgers
• your favorite meat, fish, or fowl
• pizza (yes, pizza)
• chocolate
• anything with chocolate flavor
• all snacks or desserts
• going to movies or streaming movies
• non-essential Internet
• social media
• March Madness
• following your favorite sports team
• video games
• not wearing the Brown Scapular
• slouching
• gambling (legal or otherwise)
• celebrity magazines
• golf (an objectively grave moral evil...only kidding)
• booze (yes, booze)
• a destructive, irresistible "friendship"
• foul language
• crude language
• picking your nose
• losing your temper (difficult, but it can be done)
• showing up late
• not grooming properly
• not flossing daily (yuck!)
• sports, music, or talk radio
• fantasy sports
• restaurants
• your beard (or, grow one)
• eating lunch outside of work
• driving when you could walk
• sleeping in late
• hot showers
• hitting the Snooze Button
• fast food drive-throughs
• not cooking breakfast or dinner for your kids
• shopping for clothes or fun
• not stopping by your neighbors to say hello
• failing to visit or call your relatives
• soap operas
• the beach (for those of you lucky enough to have one nearby)
• the woods, lakes, or mountains (ditto)
• working on cars
• working in your shop
• chess, checkers, cards, board games
• fishing, hunting, four-wheeling
• skateboarding
• your "me" time
• your favorite hobby
• not reading
• reading (ha!)
• not exercising regularly (here's how to start)
• exercising (too much)
• nagging your husband (you know who you are)
• criticizing your wife (she knows who you are)
• not going on dates with your spouse
• not dressing respectfully (if it applies)
• being a slob
• not smiling whenever you meet someone
• crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, sudoku
• knitting? (you addicts understand)
• those filthy, filthy cigarettes (this book actually makes it easy)
• half or a third of those cigarettes
• cigars, chew, or other tobacco
• vaping (or other forms of nicotine)
• candy or gum
• "phony" breath mints (that are actually just candy)
• not taking real breath mints
• cookies, biscuits, energy bars
• chips, pretzels
• cellphone calls in your car (more difficult than you think)
• podcasts (or listen only to religious podcasts)
• all non-necessary texting
• not eating your vegetables (even you adults)
• the News (you're an addict, and it disturbs your inner peace, doesn't it?)
• littering
• ice cream
• donuts, cakes, or muffins
• your favorite dish
• fudging on your tax return
• gossiping at work (say something nice instead)
• gossiping anywhere
• stealing "little stuff" from your employer, including time online
• relations with your spouse (on certain days or weeks)
• not having relations with your spouse (if it applies)
• thinking about yourself when you wake up or go to bed (pray instead)
• thinking about yourself when you drive (pray instead)
• talking when you don't need to (you could listen)
• interrupting (and apologize when you do)
• buying anything you don't really need
• not making your bed
• being a selfish jerk all the time

Little Children

That should, ahem, get you started. We are also big advocates of little children giving up "screens": cell phones, video games, tablets, and television. Consider encouraging your little ones to abstain from meat on Friday and even to fast (under your supervision of course). Have them put 10% of their piggy bank into the collection basket. Bring them with you if Your Best Lent Ever includes corporal or spiritual works of mercy.

Let's review our conceit: Go. For. It.

You Are Not Dead

May we mildly suggest that you are not dead. You are not a corpse. You are breathing. Put your index finger into your belly button. Dig.

That's lint. This is Lent.

And this Lent it shall never come again, and it shall never begin again, so that is why it's so crucial to have courage on Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday. Lent is about two billion people around the world changing how they live for forty days so we can all grow closer to Jesus.

In sum, because we are all connected by baptism through the Mystical Body of Christ, everything matters, and Your Best Lent Ever will help other souls around the world, and over time, in ways only God can fathom.

Let Us Pray Together

Our prayer is simple. Let us begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
Oh Jesus, sometimes You feel far away.
Sometimes You feel close enough to put your hand on my shoulder. Show me how and give me the grace to give you everything this Lent. Please help me to do my best, and by leadership or by example, to help my family and friends do their their best. Because I love you and I want to love you more. Teach me that your grace is the only wealth I need.

Please, dear Jesus, you healed so many people during your time on earth and during the ensuing centuries. Through the intercession of your Immaculate mother, all the saints, all the angels, and all the relatives in heaven of all Mary Foundation benefactors, please give me the courage to allow my Cross to carry me, and to convert and heal me and everyone I love in mind, body, and soul. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Amen.

Lenten Quotations

"Fasting is better than prayer and almsgiving is better than both."
- Saint Clement I

"Study the generations long past and understand: has anyone hoped in the Lord and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his commandments and been forsaken? Has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed? Compassionate and merciful is the Lord; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble, and he is a protector to all who seek him in truth."
- Sirach 2:5-11

"My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior!"
- The Mother of God

"I have done my part. May Christ teach you to do yours."
- Saint Francis of Assisi, final words on his deathbed

"My Lord has suffered as much for me."
- Savonarola, final words on his deathbed

"I have not behaved myself that I should be ashamed to live, nor am I afraid to die, because I have so good a master."
- Saint Ambrose, final words on his deathbed

"Jesus! Jesus!"
- Saint Joan of Arc, final words at her death

"Some demons can only be driven out through prayer and fasting."
- Jesus

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Bud Macfarlane, founder of CatholiCity.com and the Mary Foundation, is the author of three bestselling Catholic novels, available free of charge from Saint Jude Media. You can comment on his articles here.