Marital Love

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Simplified

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Correct Ordering of Sexuality (2360-2362)

Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. When the spouses are both baptized, their marriage bonds are sanctified by the sacrament.

The sexual act of spouses is not just biological, but touches their innermost beings. Sexual acts are realized in a truly human way only when the man and woman have committed themselves totally to each other for their whole life.

On his wedding night, Tobias prayed with Sarah "I am now taking this kinswoman of mine not because of lust but with sincerity. Grant that she and I many grow old together. They both said ‘Amen' and went to sleep for the night" (Tob 8:4-9).

Two Goals of the Sexual Act (2363)

Sexual acts "are truly noble and honorable. They enrich the spouses in joy and gratitude" (Second Vatican Council). "The Creator himself established that the spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment" (Pope Pius XII).

The spouses' union achieves the two goals of marriage - the good of the spouses and the transmission of life. These two meanings cannot be separated without compromising the good of marriage and of the family. Conjugal love has the twofold obligation of fidelity and fecundity.

Fidelity to Each Other (2364)

By their irrevocable personal consent, the married couple form an intimate partnership which is governed by God's laws. They give themselves to each other definitively and totally (forming one flesh). They must preserve their Covenant as unique and indissoluble. "What God has joined, let not man put asunder" (Mk 10:9).

Faithful to Christ (2365)

Fidelity means constancy in keeping one's word. Matrimony enables the couple to be faithful as Christ is faithful to his Church. "Young husbands should say to their wives, ‘I have taken you in my arms and I prefer you to my life itself. My most ardent dream is to spend my life with you so we are not separated in heaven'" (St. John Chrysostom).

Open to Transmitting Life (2366-2367)

Conjugal love is meant to be fruitful. The child is not "added on" to the couple's mutual giving but "springs from the heart". Therefore, "each and every marriage act must remain open to the transmission of life" (Pope Paul VI - Humanae Vitae). This constant Church teaching "is based on the inseparable connection, established by God, which man on his own initiative may not break, between the unitive significance and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act" (Pope Paul VI).

Called to give life, spouses share in God's fatherhood and creative power. The transmission of life and education of children are the mission of parents who are cooperators in the Creator's love.

Regulation of Births (2368-2369)

Concerning the regulation of births, couples may wish (for a just reason) to space the births of children. This desire must not come from selfishness but must conform to the generosity appropriate with responsible parenthood. Also, their behavior must conform with the objective moral criteria.

"This morality does not depend on a sincere intention or evaluation of motives alone but upon objective criteria drawn from the nature of the person and his acts. These criteria must respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation. This is possible only with married chastity practiced with sincerity" (Second Vatican Council).

"By safeguarding the unitive and procreative aspects, the conjugal act preserves its fullness of true marital love" (Pope Paul VI).

Periodic Continence (2370)

Periodic continence (the method of birth regulation based upon the use of the infertile period) is in conformity with the objective moral criteria. These methods respect the spouses' bodies and encourage tenderness. In contrast "Every action which whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or a means, to render procreation impossible, is intrinsically evil" (Pope Paul VI).

Contraception (2371)

By contraception, the self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid with contradictory language, namely of not giving oneself totally to the other. This falsifies the inner truth of conjugal love. The difference between contraception and natural family planning involves two irreconcilable concepts of the person and sexuality (Pope John Paul II).

"The duty of transmitting human life is not limited by the horizons of this life but extend to man's eternal destiny" (Second Vatican Council).

Wrong Demographic Regulation (2372)

The state has the legitimate responsibility to orient the demography of the population, using objective and respectful information but not coercive measures. The state cannot usurp the rights of spouses (who have primary responsibility for procreation). Demographic regulation cannot use means contrary to the moral law.

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