The CatholiCity Message

Volume XXI, Number 2 – February 21, 2017

Your Best Lent Ever

(The following is adapted from Bud's classic first sent nearly a decade ago—and the most popular CatholiCity Message ever written. This, dear friend, is the one to send to everyone on your email list—now, well before Ash Wednesday gets here.)

Dear CatholiCity Citizen,

Our only purpose today is to help you begin your Lent well. Remember the initials YBLE: Your Best Lent Ever. Before we start, we saved a really, really, really excellent insight for last, entitled "You Are Not Dead." Hmmnn.

Now for the Conceit
This is one message you may want to forward to your friends and relatives before Ash Wednesday arrives. Let us being with...a conceit. Huh? A what? What is a "conceit"?

As some of us may recall from English class in the olden days, a conceit, according the fourth definition of the third meaning of the noun in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, is (drumroll): "an organizing principle." A Lent well-lived needs an organizing principle. May we suggest that your conceit for Lent 2017—your organizing principle—be to:

Go. For. It.

Be More Catholic Than the Pope
Go For It! We only have so many years on this earth and to waste another Lent (you know who you are—I'm guilty too) is just plain subpar for a believing Catholic. Challenge yourself spiritually in 2017. Choose extra *difficult* mortifications. Give up your very very most favorite things. Fast more often than ever before in your life. Commit to prayer or Mass or Good Friday devotions like never before.

(By the way, all the lazy, ridiculous lefty propaganda to not give up anything for Lent in recent decades and to just "help people instead" is lazy, ridiculous lefty propaganda designed to rationalize not doing anything for Lent. We all know it. Mortification—prayer, fasting, giving up things we love—is a very positive way of walking with Jesus, who did these things, taught his apostles to do this, and gave up His very life!)

This is the only time of year when it is, in fact, a good idea to be more Catholic than a pope. So plan today, right now, to look back upon April 16, 2017 (Easter Sunday) with the wonderful sensation of knowing that you did your very, very best to grow closer to Jesus. That you did not squander another Lent.

Crackerjack Surprise-Inside Suggestions
Some of you are motivated. Some of you are groaning. Others are nodding (hopefully in agreement, not off into sleep). Many stopped reading after the word "conceit."

And, now, for some suggestions. Please forgive us for listing some of the "usual suspect" suggestions. Our goal below is to make you exclaim: "Oh no, not that! I can't give that up."

Yeah, we (and you) are looking for the Perfect Oh No Not That to give up because this year, our conceit is Go For It.

And remember, there is no prohibition from "doubling" up, or choosing three, five, or seven things for Lent 2017 (YBLE!). We know that many of you have been intending to get off your duffs and do several of the following for years (and even decades—you know who you are).

We can only offer this bold encouragement because we are weak, slothful, wimpy, selfish, lazy, prideful, ashamed, and cowardly. Here are some suggestions to get into the spirit of Go For It, followed by helpful hints, resources and comments...

1. Pray the Rosary every day.
2. Receive Communion at Mass every day.
3. Go to Confession every Friday or once a week.
4. Pray the Family Rosary every day or once a week.
5. Pray in silence 20 minutes a day.
6. Make a Eucharistic visit every day.
7. Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet (at 3:00 PM) every day.
8. Fast on bread and water one to three times per week (join me!)
9. Read a spiritual book.
10. Give a painfully large donation to charity.
11. Give a donation to charity instead of buying something for you.
12. Pray "Jesus, I love you!" in the first waking seconds of the day.
13. Listen to Catholic CDs.
14. Do something major to improve your marriage.
15. Volunteer anywhere: at your kid's school, homeless shelter
16. Visit a home for the elderly.
17. Read a Gospel or all four Gospels.
18. Memorize ten favorite Bible verses.
19. Did we mention fasting one to three times a week?
20. Distribute Mary Foundation novels, CDs, and booklets in nearby parishes.
21. Oh, why not? Pray in silence for an HOUR every day.
22. Give up something you absolutely love, crave, or spend time on, or that annoys the people you love, including

• your cellphone (or, texting, shopping online, Facebook, etc. online)
• television or your favorite television show
• television before a certain hour
• television AFTER a certain hour
• coffee (yes, coffee)
• caffeine in any form
• diet soda
• donuts
• hamburgers
• pizza (yes, pizza)
• chocolate
• anything with chocolate flavor
• all snacks or desserts
• movies, Netflix, movie rentals
• the Internet
• March Madness
• following your favorite sports team
• video games
• celebrity magazines
• golf (an objectively grave moral evil) (only kidding)
• booze (yes, booze)
• watching golf on TV
• a destructive, irresistible "friendship"
• foul language
• picking your nose
• not grooming properly
• sports radio
• satellite radio
• music radio
• talk radio
• restaurants
• eating lunch outside of work
• driving when you could walk
• sleeping in late on the weekends
• hitting the Snooze Button in the morning
• fast food drive-throughs
• not cooking breakfast for your kids
• shopping for clothes or food
• not stopping by your neighbors to say hello for weeks
• failing to visit or call your "not close by" relatives
• soap operas
• the beach (for those of you lucky enough to have one nearby)
• the woods (ditto)
• working on cars
• working in your shop
• chess
• fishing, hunting, four-wheeling, skateboarding
• some of your "alone" time doing any hobby
• your absolute favorite, passionate hobby (aha, you just fainted!)
• nagging your husband (you know who you are)
• criticizing your wife (she knows who you are)
• interrupting others
• not smiling when you arrive at the office
• knitting, crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, sudoku
• knitting? (you addicts understand)
• cigarettes
• cigars, gum, and "phony candy" breath mints
• cookies
• chips
• cellphone calls in your car on the drive home
• bluetooth headset (more difficult than you think)
• fantasy football, basketball, or baseball
• not eating your vegetables (even you adults)
• ice cream
• betting on March Madness
• gossiping at work—say something nice instead
• stealing "little stuff" from your employer, including time online
• relations with your spouse (on certain days or weeks)
• thinking about yourself when you wake up or go to sleep (pray instead)
• thinking about yourself when you drive (pray instead)
• buying anything you don't need

Little Children
That, ahem, should get you started. We are also big advocates of little children giving up video games, tablets, and television. Consider encouraging your little ones to abstain from meat on Friday and even to fast (under your supervision of course). Have them give 10% of their piggy bank into the collection basket.

Let's review our conceit: Go. For. It.

You Are Not Dead: Lent Versus Lint
May we mildly suggest that you are not dead. You are not a corpse. You are alive. You are breathing. Put your index finger into your bellybutton. Dig. That's lint. This is Lent. And it is Lent 2017 and it shall never come again, and it shall never *begin* again, so that is why it is so important to have some courage on Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday. Lent is about one and a half billion people around the world changing how they live for forty days so we can all grow closer to Jesus.

In sum YBLE will help other souls around the world and over time in ways only God can fathom.

Let Us Pray Together for Lent 2017
Our prayer is simple. Let us, tens of thousands together, as friends in Christ, begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...

"Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Oh Jesus, sometimes you feel far away. Sometimes close enough to put your hand on my shoulder. Show me how and give me the grace to give it my all this Lent. Please help me do my best, and by leadership or by example, to help my family and friends to do their their best this Lent. Because I love you and I want to love you more. Amen."

Lenten Quotations

Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the Lord and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his commandments and been forsaken? has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed? Compassionate and merciful is the Lord; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble and he is a protector to all who seek him in truth.
– Sir 2:5-11

An honest man is the noblest work of God.
– Alexander Pope

I have done my part. May Christ teach you to do yours.
– Saint Francis of Assisi, final words on his deathbed

My Lord has suffered as much for me.
– Savonarola, final words on his deathbed

I have not behaved myself that I should be ashamed to live, nor am I afraid to die, because I have so good a master.
– Saint Ambrose, final words on his deathbed

Jesus! Jesus!
– Saint Joan of Arc, final words at her death

Thank you for being an august citizen of CatholiCity and for reading to this sweet end. I'm not being corny when I write that I care deeply for you. I really do pray for you every day when I receive Holy Communion at Mass—for you and for everyone important to you. With all my heart I pray.

I believe Our Lady sent you to us. Please, just hit reply with your insights and reactions, and no matter how long it takes me, I will get back to you.

Please pray every day for my sons, especially for Xavier, a first year seminarian, and for all who will hear or read Mary Foundation materials this Lent (YBLE!).

And don't forget to order your Mary Foundation materials now—we'll ship 'em fast and you'll have them to stock the churches near you before Ash Wednesday.

Next time we write, it shall be during Lent, in the fray, so to speak, of Lent 2017. Meet us there, going for it.

Always, always with Immaculate Mary,

Bud Macfarlane
Founder and Executive Director