The CatholiCity Message
Volume VI, Number 24 – December 12, 2002
Dear CatholiCity Citizen,
Today's theme is what lousy bums we are.
First, you'll have to excuse us for not being in touch as often lately. We've been on the road non-stop since World Youth Day.
Normally we line up some special Christmas discounts for you from other apostolates, but at this late date it's impossible to ensure these would arrive on time as gifts, but you can still request our own free books, CDs, and tapes online, which we'll ship the same day. These always make great Catholic stocking stuffers:
For the novels:
http://www.catholicity.com/saintjude/
For Mary Foundation tapes and CDs:
http://www.catholicity.com/maryfoundation/
Please forgive us. We will have some pretty amazing offers for you soon, including excellent free audios we know you'll love from fresh new sources.
And now, for the rest of the story...
1. BORING STUFF
Here's an early Christmas gift to make amends. We've posted two articles just for you. One is about prayer and the other one is about having a body. We can't think of two more "every day" topics, ourselves. Pretty boring stuff. We mean, what does prayer have to do with punching, and what does your body have to do with pizza? There's no way you want to read this. What a lousy Christmas gift. We won't blame you if you can't get through the first paragraphs. And no way you'll want to forward this drivel to your friends.
(And all this manipulative reverse-psychology is surely making you sicker than four puppies in a fridge with an open jug 'o' molasses. Yuck!)
Nevertheless, you can read the articles, "Til You Stop Breathing" and "Understanding the And" on our Catholic Newswire Commentary page (you can figure out which one is about Prayer and which one is about Bodies when you get there):
http://www.catholicity.com/commentary/
TWO BAD RIDDLES OF THE WEEK
Question: What can you sleep on, sit on, and brush your teeth with?
Question: What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down the hill with three legs?
(Answers below)
2. WHILE WE'RE AT IT
We don't know why we once described the CatholiCity Message as featuring (and we quote from our website) "the inside scoop from our vast network of real world and online sources." The best Catholic email newsletter from a guy who actually has a "vast network" of sources is Deal Hudson's. He's the editor of Crisis Magazine, friends with President Bush,
and knows just about everybody who is anybody in the Catholic world and beyond.
He is, simply, beyond a doubt, a better speller than we.
Deal has delivered scoop after scoop on the Scandals, Voice of the Faithful, the elections. His e-letter is a perfect compliment to our own (and we quote again from our website) "quirky" whatever-it-is-we're-doing-right-now.
One thing we love about Deal is that he actually has the guts to take a stand. He doesn't sit on the fence; he knocks it over (yet in an elegant way, we might add).
In fact, every single one of you ought to subscribe to Deal's email newsletter, right now, with our blessing. Deal once described us as a combination "Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach." Burt Bacharach is smooth, suave, handsome, and talented enough to not just play a piano, but write songs on one. You can guess which apostolate represents Elvis. Here's how to sign up for Deal. Just go to the bottom of the page. It's free, of course:
http://www.crisismagazine.com/freeletter.htm
Or send an e-mail with SUBSCRIBE in the subject field to:
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
(all from recent Crisis Magazine issues)
"Heresy is more easily staunched than vulgarity.
If one has to explain to a priest why he should not wear cheese on his head at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, one has already lost the argument."
Rev. George W. Rutler
"In 1994...I quickly discovered, that the magazine was going to be my teacher. The job of editing, I found out, only begins with good ideas. And as for the demands of publishing–well, I had no clue."
Deal Hudson, 20th Anniversary of Crisis
"...Catholic teaching may be in disarray from grammar school to university; free-form sloppy,
and even impious liturgical practices may be found in many dioceses; barely 40% of American Catholics attend Mass regularly, and many schoolchildren may have trouble reciting the Ten Commandments...seminaries may be empty...
but the U.S. Bishop's Committee on Liturgy knows a mortal peril to the Faith when it sees one: It's those disruptive types who insist on kneeling to receive the Eucharist."
Michael M. Uhlmann
ANSWER TO BAD RIDDLES OF THE WEEK
Answer: A bed, a chair, and a toothbrush.
Answer: Nothing.
Okay, so shoot us. By the way, we're grateful for you. Thanks for reading this. We know you'll enjoy the Christmas gift articles on Prayer and the Body.
Please, along with your fellow 70,000 CatholiCity Citizens, join in the prayer of the Miraculous Medal, just a few days after our favorite day of any year, the Feast the Immaculate Conception:
"O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee, for those who do not have recourse to thee, and especially for the enemies of the Church. Amen."
We'll be in touch one more time before Christmas. We remain nerdy writer bums, but always yournerdy writer bums...
With Christ,
Your Friends at CatholiCity
