The CatholiCity Message
Volume VI, Number 18 – September 25, 2002
Dear CatholiCity Citizen,
"With Christians, a poetical view of things is a duty. We are bid to color all things with hues of faith, to see a divine meaning in every event."
John Cardinal Newman
It seems like a long time since we've written to you. We've got a few things for you, short and sweet...well, not so sweet in the last item...
1. SWING AWAY
Our all-time #1 movie is no longer High Noon. Our favorite movie is now Signs, a perfectly written, acted, and constructed story by the brilliant director, M. Night Shyamalan. Its thematic meaning illustrates God's providence in light of suffering like no movie we've ever seen. This work of art conveys what it means to us to be a Catholic. It's rated PG-13, and we don't recommend it for little kids. Five stars out of four. Go see it.
2. ON THE EVE OF WAR
This year's 10th International Week of Prayer and Fasting for World Peace and to End Abortion is October 6-14. Every year we encourage you to participate with your family and to contact your parish about organizing fasting, Masses, Eucharistic Adoration, and the Rosary. There is also a conference in Woodbridge, Virginia. Downloadable flyers and more information is online here:
(EVENT PASSED)
3. CYBER-TIME FLIES
CatholiCity has taken off like a rocket in the past twelve months. Our superfast new design, easy-to-digest daily news, increased original commentary, coverage of the Scandals, free offers, group prayer, and outreach to souls "searching" for the Truth has born incredible fruit in terms Search Engine ratings and hundreds of thousands of new visitors. None of it–not one pixel or improvement–would have happened without your generosity and faithfulness during last year's tax drive. You're the best. We're gearing up for the 2002 Tax Drive now, probably sometime in October, so keep your eye on your in-box. The best gift you could give is the wherewithal to keep this website and message going and growing. We're just getting started; we really believe that.
JOKE OF THE WEEK
Question: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: Three. One to hold the giraffe, one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored industrial valves, and one to tell CatholiCity that this joke was truly awful this week.
4. CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE
Let's all 70,000 of us pray together to Saint Raphael the Archangel to help all our friends and CatholiCity Citizens who are called to marry a good Catholic spouse...
Dear Saint Raphael, you found a wife for Tobit, and you have been bringing together husbands and wives ever since. We ask you to help our friends who are open to marriage find the perfect spouse, the spouse who was designed from all eternity to form a sacramental union that will bear fruit for the Kingdom of God, and reflect the love of Christ for His bride, the Church. Prepare the husband to suffer for his wife as Christ suffered for our salvation. Help the wife remain pure and holy in anticipation of her husband. Do not delay, O powerful Archangel! O Jesus, the daily life of the Church is marriage and family, love and life, life and love, grace from above, so look not on our faults, but on the faith of your brothers and sisters. Amen.
5. BRUNETTE MOMENT
In our house, we call them Rumor Weeds, inspired by a VeggieTale video, but the official name for these nasty thorn-covered plants is thistle or bull thistle. They had infested our property by the thousands; it made going barefoot impossible. So our children have been waging an all-out war to eradicate our enemy for over two years; we are finally turning the tide as Fall approaches. The key is to get the suckers before they go to seed.
Seasoned rumor weed hunters, we are now able to spot them from great distances. We know their favorite hiding places. We track them; we engage them in mortal combat by spraying them with poison. Or we yank them out with gloved hands. Sometimes we rip them out using weed tools and a gas-engined weedwacker (mechanized warfare).
We are relentless, as our forebears are Scottish and therefore we were born to conduct war. For we are Irish and therefore we were born to write poetically about the heroic deeds of war. (And yes, we are Italian, and therefore were born to enjoy excellent meals after engaging in war.)
Mercy is for the weak when it comes to the hated rumor weed. After returning from a recent trip, our four-year-old veteran, let us call him "Agent Spartan," called his father over to see a particularly large and ugly rumor weed. He and his older brothers had not ripped it by the roots from the dark, fertile soil; this surprised us. When we bent over to take a closer look, however, we noticed that it was already dying, decaying in place, its formerly thorny-green leafs had turned a satisfying brown and gray. Dead on the battlefield.
"How did you kill it?" we asked Spartan, as we were confused. "You're not allowed to use the poison spray."
"No, we knew we aren't allowed to use the spray," he replied, looking up, a hard-bitten squint in his eye. "So I kept going pee-pee on it until it was dead."
Our little Braveheart.
And that's it for this week. We are praying for you every day, doggedly, for we are warriors, and our general is Our Lady, whom we love.
With Christ,
Your Friends at CatholiCity
