The CatholiCity Message
Volume V, Number 26 – November 9, 2001
Dear CatholiCity Citizen,
CatholiCity Lives! Your response to the 2001 Tax Drive has been wonderful. We also have a few other non-Tax Drive related items for you today, including a "insider" scoop on the Pope and our first bit of humor in a while, and a Surprise Ending–but please allow us to share with you the cool details about this year's tax drive. We are so psyched! Like we always say, you guys are the best!
Number of "Volunteer Taxpayers": 1672
One-Time Gifts: $47,327
Pledged One-Time Gifts: $11,008 received so far with $20,096 promised
Total Monthly Donors (current and new): 252 for $5632 per month
Total Estimated "Tax" Revenues through Fall 2002: $135,000 !
THRIVE AND GROW
Done! We're still waiting for some of the pledged gifts to come in, as you can see, and that final Total above will depend on our monthly donors sticking with us until Fall of 2002. The most excellent news is that if you follow through as promised, not only will we continue all the services we now offer, but we'll also be able to improve current services and start adding new services, including taking the first strong steps towards a full-fledged daily News and Commentary.
TWO PERCENT SOLUTION
You gotta like being part of a "city" where only 2% of the citizens pay voluntary taxes and one or two million visiting souls benefit as a result. As your "mayor," We're relieved, thrilled, and oh so very grateful. On behalf of all our workers here, our warmest thanks. We'll leave the Tax Drive info on our homepage through next week for those of you who are a bit late in checking your email, and for those of you who want to join the 2%. I also want to thank the many Citizens who contacted us saying you were not in a financial position to donate, yet promised to pray for our success. Your prayers are being answered. Last call:
http://www.catholicity.com/support/donation.html
2. UNIMPEACHABLE SOURCE
We happened to have the opportunity to talk today with a well-known author who knows the pope as well as just about anyone on the planet. He told us, essentially, "I had dinner with the Holy Father last week, and it's been years since I've seen him in such good condition." It was clear the author meant the Holy Father was strong in mind, health, and spirit. Long Live John Paul II! We know so many of you pray for the Holy Father daily, as does we. It's working. Amen.
3. JOKE OF THE WEEK
Before we start, an editorial comment. Obviously, few of us have been in a joking mood since 11 September, so we avoided humor in this CatholiCity Message, although it has always been a regular feature. In light of President Bush's encouragement to "get back to our regular lives," but with respect towards those who have suffered directly from the tragedy, we offer you our specialty, which is, of course, pure silliness, and we know for certain no one has ever sent this to you before because we made it up ourselves. It's not a joke so much as an observation.
"Just as the Eskimos are known for having dozens of words to describe different kinds of snow, it is a given that women have been blessed by our Creator with dozens of emotions, and are capable of discussing their emotions with each other in hundreds of ways, down to the finest nuances, details, and distinctions. I know. I have nine sisters, and I learned early on as a boy that women don't polish their nails to attract men–after all, have you ever heard a man brag to another man about his girlfriend or wife's nails?--but rather, women enjoy polishing and painting their nails together because it gives them a chance to discuss how they feel. On the other hand, after years of careful study of the existing psychological data, and after decades of observing myself and my many male friends in private conversations, I have come to the certain conclusion that men, unlike women, have just two, and only two, emotions, and that these two male emotions are: anger and... nothing."
G.K. MacBrien
4. COMING ATTRACTIONS
You've given to us, and we're going to give to you. In my next CatholiCity Message, we hope to have our final "CatholiCity Discounts and Free Offers" for the year. We've got some nifty stuff for you, and you're gonna love it. Plus, the Mary Foundation, our parent organization, is in the final stages of producing our next free recording, and this one is going to blow you away. This new tape will definitely be a tool for evangelizing anyone during our particularly troubling times. As soon as it's ready, CatholiCity Citzens will be the first to know, probably just before Christmas or right after the new year. As Drudge says, developing...
5. VACCINE OF GRACE
Let's give the Holy Father a Booster Shot of Grace, all 70,000 of us, joining our hearts to God in the Mystical Body of Christ, with the simplest of prayers for one of the greatest of popes since Peter, and the man who's motto is "I am all yours Mary and all that I have is yours." Let's begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...
"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen. Immaculate Mary, please procure a tidal wave of happiness and joy for our beloved Papa, John Paul II. Amen."
Yikes! You can tell we're in a good mood. We are. We're Catholics. Our hearts are bursting. We love Mary. We love the Church. We love souls. We love our families. We love collies. We love my mom and dad, brothers and sisters and all our friends. We love CatholiCity Citizens. And we always will.
We also love Good Humor Toasted Almond Bars. And what the Diamondbacks did last week. Congratulations, Arizona, you beat one of the best ever.
With Christ,
Your Friends at CatholiCity
