The CatholiCity Message
Volume IV, Number 5 – March 10, 2000
Dear CatholiCity Citizen,
Well, we made it into another Lent. We were thinking about sending you a message on Fat Tuesday, but thought better of it. Sometimes it's best to begin Lent in our own quiet ways. We've got just a few quick items today, and what we think is a pretty good joke...
2. IF THE APOSTLES HAD BEEN RANCHERS
Then we suppose that on Fridays during Lent we wouldn't be allowed to eat fish.
3. CAFFEINE: A WAY OF LIFE
Because our "Cheese Dream" recipe was such a big hit in the last message, we're emboldened to pass on these two tips on making caffeine, a drug which we believe is a gift from God to mankind,
more palatable. We suppose coffee and colas are the preferred ways to ingest this miracle ingredient. Years ago, during a trip to Ireland, we noticed that the Irish first poured their cream or milk into their cups before adding the coffee or tea. It was explained to us that this prevents the fat in the cream from "scalding." It does change the taste of coffee slightly–it's fresher and less burnt. Try it. And cola? Again,
while in Europe years ago, your author noticed that restaurants always served colas with a slice of lemon. They would squeeze the lemon a bit then stir it in. We were surprised when it was explained that this was done for health reasons–the juice apparently kills germs. We just liked the taste. We've found that most U.S. restaurants are happy to add a lemon if ones asks. What does any of this have to do with Catholicism?
Nothing, except that good Catholics are smart, prudent, and reasonable about all things in God's creation, including caffeinated beverages.
4. BE LIKE...JOSEPH
Mark your calendars! Our Annual Spring International 54 Day Rosary Novena begins on March 19th, the Feast of Saint Joseph the Husband (it ends on May 11th). Join thousands of Catholics around the world as we offer intentions for each other during 54 days of praying the Rosary. This year, besides praying for you guys, we're going to ask Our Lady to help we men be better husbands. For more info on this powerful Novena, go to:
http://www.catholicity.com/support/praywithus.html
5. WHAT DOES EVERY CATHOLIC HAVE TO DO THIS LENT?
Same as every Lent: go to Confession, of course. Right now, our staff is putting the final touches on the first new recording to be released by the Mary Foundation in almost two years: and the topic is Confession. It will be absolutely free, of course, and it will be ready in a matter of weeks, maybe sooner.
we'll let you know so you can give copies to your friends. As long as we're on the topic, last February we wrote a short reflection on the Sacrament of Reconciliation which really struck a chord with CatholiCity Citizens.
If you want to read it, and perhaps even cut and paste it to your friends, go here:
http://www.catholicity.com/catholicitymessage/archives/wm1999-02-11.html
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"I seem to be in danger of death from the malady; if it be the pleasure of God that I die here, I beg that I may be heard in Confession and also receive my Savior; and that I may be buried on consecrated ground."
Saint Joan of Arc, in Mark Twain's "Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc"
JOKE OF THE WEEK
A lawyer and a young woman were sitting next to each other on a plane on a long flight from New York to Los Angeles. To pass the time, the lawyer asked the woman if she was interested in playing a game of chance. She begged off, saying she was more interested in praying her Rosary and taking a nap. The lawyer insisted, explaining the game. "We take turns asking each other questions. If you can't answer, you give me $5. If I can't answer, I'll give you $5, and so on." Again, the woman said she was not interested. "Tell you what," the lawyer said, "if I can't get the answer right, I'll give you fifty dollars, but you still only have to give me five dollars." The woman rolled her eyes, and realizing that the lawyer would badger her for the rest of the flight, agreed to play the game. "I'll go first," said the lawyer. "What is the distance between the earth and the moon?" The woman didn't say a word. Instead, she took out her purse, reached in and handed the lawyer a five dollar bill. "Okay,
it's your turn. What's your question for me?" asked the lawyer. The woman asked this question: "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down a hill with four legs?" The lawyer made a perplexed face. He had no idea what the answer was. So as the woman returned to her Rosary, he got out his laptop, popped in his encyclopedia CD, and searched for an answer. Still befuddled, he used the airplane phone to go online and search the web,
and even emailed all his friends asking them for the answer. Meanwhile,
the woman finished her Rosary and fell asleep. During the next hour, the lawyer was unable to find the answer, so he closed his laptop, pulled out his wallet, and took out a fifty dollar bill. He jostled the woman awake and handed her the $50. She put it in her purse and went back to sleep. After a few minutes, the lawyer woke her again, asking, "Wait a second, this is driving me nuts! What IS the answer to that question?!" Without saying a word, the woman opened her purse and handed him a five dollar bill...
See you next week. Don't forget to mark your calendar for that 54 Day Novena...
Yours in Christ,
Your Friends at CatholiCity
