The CatholiCity Message

Volume III, Number 7 – March 5, 1999

Dear CatholiCity Citizen,

Plenty of stuff this week! To Eternity and Beyond! A free pro-life online newsletter! We've got a fabulous "free" music offer! And we've got not one–but count 'em–THREE provocative quotes; and not one, but TWO Jokes of the Week to copy to all your friends, even the ones you don't like. It's a motherload! A Mount Everest of CatholiCity Messages–plus, if you stick with us to the end, we have the ALL NEW title for Saint Jude Media's third novel...

1. NEVER HEARD A PRO-LIFE SERMON?
Well, Father Frank Pavone of Priests for Life, which now touches the lives of many thousands of priests worldwide, is doing something about this. It has always been one of our favorite apostolates. If the priests lead the people, then a pro-life victory is possible. If they do NOT lead the people...

We happen to think Father Pavone is one of the best speakers of our time. He has been living in Rome, at the request of the Vatican, to establish Priests for Life on an international basis, but is coming back to America soon. If you ever get a chance to hear him speak–run, don't walk, to the event. Father Frank has a nifty email newsletter that should be more well known–and patronized by concerned Catholics everywhere. Here's where you can go to sign up for it online:

http://www.priestsforlife.org/newsletters/newsletter.html

2. FOR THE SOUL
Let us all pray together for the souls of all CatholiCity Citizens, friends, and relatives who have passed away in recent weeks: "Dear Jesus, loving and merciful brother, accept the departed soul of (NAME) into your loving embrace in paradise. We beg you to allow your perfect and limitless Divine Mercy triumph before your perfect court in heaven, where you, Brother and King, reign with Immaculate Mary, our Mother and Queen. Jesus, we trust in you! Amen."

3. FREE MEANS FREE
Last week, we promised to tell you about a spectacular free offer. It is with great pleasure that we inaugurate today the availability of a free Catholic music album from the newly established Saint Philomena Foundation featuring singer-songwriter-mom Simonetta Pacek, "Living that Truth."

We know some of you "Show Me" types out there wondered when you first came into contact with the Mary Foundation if we really meant it when we said that our audio tapes are available free-of-charge, no strings attached, no shipping or handling fees, etc. In short: that free really meant free. We don't blame you: our media and culture are filled with "come-ons." And perhaps you wondered if what was offered free-of-charge had any real value. From our point of view, it's hard to put a price on something that should be considered priceless from a spiritual point of view, and making it free not only earned your trust, but enabled anyone to take the next step: evangelizing with these valuable tools.

The Saint Philomena Foundation was started by Len and Simonetta with the apostolic purpose of copying the Mary Foundation's unique distribution philosophy. In fact, Len and Simonetta came to visit and study us, learned from our operations, and adopted our philosophy. It was a real step in faith. They're goal is to help build the Kingdom of God, not to make money. But...

WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC?
Trust me: Simonetta's talent is the real thing. We've had the pleasure of listening to her inspired songs for several weeks now. It's hard to categorize her gift; her hearty voice does remind us of Ann Murray's; the music has a spiritual, prayerful quality that lends itself to daily listening. In fact, Len tells us that some people do listen to Sim during their daily commutes as form of prayer. It's also wonderful music for your children–for this reason alone you should order a copy if you have kids. The production quality, like Marie Bellet's album which many of you love so much, is first rate. Again, we were won over after the third listen. Interested? For more information and a free copy go to:

http://www.saintphilomena.com/

Just in case you're wondering, the Mary Foundation and CatholiCity will receive no compensation for this announcement. It's our pleasure to share something we love. We know that CatholiCity Citizens are going to help get the Saint Philomena Foundation off to a good start. You've already done wonders for Marie Bellet.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK
"Charity begins at home, but shouldn't end there."
Scottish Proverb

"Selfishness can be a virtue. Selfishness is essential to survival, and without survival we cannot protect those whom we love more than ourselves."
Duke Ellington

"Bravery escapes more dangers than cowardice."
Joseph Segur

"Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away."
Thomas Fuller

4. A JOKE ABOUT TWO LETTERS (RATED PG)
A son invited his mother to dine at his new apartment, and introduced to her there for the first time his roommate, whom the mother could not help but notice was quite lovely. There was not much conversation during the dinner. Two days later, the roommate came to the son and told him that the silver gravy ladle used during the meal was missing, and suggested he contact his mother. So the son wrote the following note to his mom: "Dear Mom, We cannot find the silver ladle. I'm not saying you DID take the silver ladle, and I'm not saying you DID NOT take the silver ladle. I'm just saying that since you came to dinner, we have not been able to find it in the apartment."

The next day, he received this note from his mother. "Dear Son, I am not saying you DO sleep with your roommate, and I am not saying you DO NOT sleep with your roommate, but I am saying that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found that ladle by now."

BONUS JOKE ABOUT A LETTER (RATED G)
A medical doctor was at a cocktail party when he was introduced by the host as a doctor to a man he had never met before. The man proceeded to describe a chronic medical problem that was bothering him, and peppered the doctor for advice for several minutes.

After the man left, the doctor turned to another man standing next to him and complained, "Where are people's manners? I can't enjoy a social function anymore. As soon as some bumpkin finds out I'm a doctor, they monopolize my time asking for medical advice."

The man next to the doctor listened sympathetically, then said, "Tell me about it! The same thing used to happen to me. I'm a lawyer. Strangers at parties were constantly asking me for free legal advice. Now, whenever anyone asks me for advice at a social event, the next day I fire off a letter and an invoice, and bill them by the quarter hour, and at my highest rate! That takes care of that!"

"You know, that's brilliant!" The doctor exclaimed. "I'll do just that!" So he got the address from the host, and that very evening when he returned home–feeling quite pleased with himself–he fired off a bill for $50 to the man who has pestered him for advice.

The next day, he received a bill from the lawyer for $75.

5. WELL
Well, was it the Everest of Weeklies, or just another Foothill of the Bunnyhill? Don't answer that. CatholiCity Citizen, Edward "Elroy the Headless Boy" LAST NAME WITHHELD suggested a title that really struck a chord with the author of Saint Jude Media's next novel. So from here on in, the title of the next book will share a title of Our Lady's from the Litany of Loretto:

"House of Gold"

We're going to take next week off from the CatholiCity Message. Enjoy your Lent–or suffer through it, depending on your level of zeal...

Yours in Christ,

Your Friends at CatholiCity