The Coming of the Obamessiah

by Mark P. Shea - June 11, 2008

Reprinted with permission.

And it came to pass that Obama called his delegates to himself. And going up on an exceeding high mountain, he opened his mouth and spake, saying:

I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.

In the beginning was Obama. Before him, they that needed the physician were as sheep without a shepherd, nor was there labor for any in the regions of North America, from New York even to California. Day by day, the sick lay dying in the streets with none to help them. But Obama lifted up his eyes of compassion upon them. He spoke, and it was. He uttered the Word, and health care began. Beggars who stood idle verily found work through the power of his Holy Name. At the sound of his mighty voice, the rising oceans were rebuked and flowed back to their place. By the power of the Zeitgeist, the planet was healed.

And, lo! His disciples were exceeding amazed. For Obama said, "You who fear the Zeitgeist, vote for me! All you children of America, glorify me, and stand in awe of me, all you sons and daughters of the United States! For I have not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; and I have not hid my face from you, but have heard, when you cried to me. All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to me; and all the families of the nations shall worship before me. For dominion belongs to the Zeitgeist, and it rules over the nations. Yea, to me shall all the proud of the earth bow down; before me shall bow all who go down to the dust, and he who cannot keep himself alive. Posterity shall serve me; men shall tell of me to the coming generation, and proclaim my deliverance to a people yet unborn, that I have wrought it."

And the peoples of the earth answered and sang in this wise:

I will sing to Obama, for he has triumphed gloriously;
the SUV and driver he has thrown into the sea.
Obama is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation;
this is my god, and I will praise him,
my father's god, and I will exalt him.
Obama is a man of war;
Obama is his name.

At the blast of thy nostrils the waters piled up,
the floods stood up in a heap;
the deeps congealed in the heart of the sea.
Gaia said, "I will pursue, I will overtake,
I will divide the spoil, my desire shall have its fill of them.
I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them."
Thou didst blow with thy wind, the sea would have covered New York;
they would have sank as lead in the mighty waters.

Who is like thee, Obama, among the pols?
Who is like thee, majestic in holiness,
terrible in glorious deeds, doing wonders?
Thou didst stretch out thy right hand,
and the waters receded.

Thou hast led in thy steadfast love
the people whom thou hast schmoozed,
thou hast guided them by thy strength to thy holy city, which is called Denver.
The peoples have heard, they tremble;
pangs have seized on the inhabitants of Chappaqua.
Now are the chiefs of the Clintonistas dismayed;
the leaders of Arkansas, trembling seizes them;
all the supporters of the Hillary campaign have melted away.
Terror and dread fall upon them;
because of the greatness of thy arm, they are as still as a stone,
till thy people, Obama, pass by,
till the people pass by whom thou hast purchased.

Thou wilt bring them in, and plant them in thy own administration,
the place, Obama, which thou hast made for thy abode,
the sanctuary, Obama, which thy hands have established.
Obama will reign for ever and ever.

The Zeitgeist and the Media say, "Come!" Even so! Come, Lord Obama!

Mark P. Shea is a senior editor at www.CatholicExchange.com and a columnist for InsideCatholic. Visit his blog at www.markshea.blogspot.com.