The Difference One Mother Can Make

by Fr. Roger J. Landry - January 11, 2008

The vast majority of priests and religious say that the nourishment of their divine vocations began at home. It was in the domestic Church that they first learned about God — who he is, how he loves us, and what he expects of us. It was from their parents that they saw the centrality of God in human life and learned how to pray, how to love, how to forgive and ask forgiveness. It was from example of their faith that they grasped the importance of the Church, the Eucharist and confession, the commandments, virtues and works of mercy. It was also from them that they learned a loving reverence and fascination for the priests, brothers and women religious whom God had mysteriously called to his service and theirs.

While not discounting the contributions of fathers and siblings, in most homes most of the credit for this Christian upbringing goes to mothers. They are the principal masons laying the foundation for their children's future growth in faith. They are the "spiritual breast-feeders," who allow their children to be nourished by their own faith. There's an expression among priests that "behind every vocation stands a woman," and in most cases that woman has their mother's face.

One mother can make an enormous difference. Last month, the Vatican's Congregation for Clergy brought the contributions of just such a mother to worldwide notice. In its beautiful booklet, "Adoration, Reparation and Spiritual Motherhood for Priests," the Congregation told the inspiring story of Eliza Vaughan, a Welsh wife and mother who, in 23 years of marriage, gave real meaning to the expression "spiritual maternity."

Born into a traditional and sophisticated Anglican family, Eliza, as a young woman, fell in love a Catholic army officer, Colonel John Francis Vaughan. He was the descendent of one of Britain's most famous Catholic families, which, during the anti-Catholic persecutions of the late 1500s, had given refuge to clandestine priests, and suffered imprisonment, loss of property and other indignities rather than betray the faith. For them to wed, Eliza needed to take instruction to become a Catholic, which she did over the strong objections of her family. For her, this process of conversion was not just an external formality, but a time of enthusiastic re-evaluation of who she was and how she could best praise God and share, according to her vocation as a wife and mother, in the mission of the Church he founded.

The first thing she resolved to do was to try to cooperate with God in bringing to life a large family that could form a choir around her and her husband to the praise and glory of God. The Lord abundantly blessed her desire: over her 23 years of marriage, she gave birth to 14 children, 13 of whom lived into adulthood. But generously bearing children was only part of what she saw as her mission; she also wanted to rear them to dedicate their lives to God's service.

For that reason, early in her marriage, she caught her husband off-guard by proposing to him that they explicitly offer all of their children back to God. She began to make a holy hour each day in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament begging the Lord to give her children religious vocations. There would be no greater means, she thought, by which her children could add to the glory of God. Since vocations are always a gift from God and not something that a parent should try to manipulate, she resolved to keep this intention to herself and "pressure" God, not her children. She also tried to structure their upbringing in such a way that they would learn that God deserves the best of their time and talents. Like many children today, the Vaughan kids were involved in everything — studies, theater, sports, music lessons, even horseback riding — but they also prayed each day as a family, attended daily Mass, listened at night to the lives of the saints, and accompanied their mother on visits to the sick and the needy.

Her offering, insistent secret prayers and family priorities bore fruit. When her oldest son, Herbert, at the age of 16 shared with her that he thought God was calling him to be a priest, she smiled and said, "Child, I have known it for a long time." Little did she know at the time that he would eventually become the Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster and the founder of the Millhill Missionaries.

But that was the first of many such conversations. Roger was next. He sensed the vocation to become a Benedictine; he eventually became a prior and later the Archbishop of Sydney, Australia. Kenelm became a Cistercian. Joseph entered the Benedictines and eventually founded a new abbey. Bernard became a Jesuit. John, the youngest, born shortly before Eliza's death, was ordained a priest by his eldest brother and later became an auxiliary bishop.

Among the girls, Gladis became a Visitation sister, Teresa a Sister of Mercy, Claire a Poor Clare, and Mary an Augustinian prioress. Margaret, the fifth and last daughter, after years of being refused entrance to a convent because of illness, was able to enter later in life.

Of John's and Eliza's 13 adult children, six became priests and five religious sisters. The two other brothers married and kept up the family estate, which, now, by God's providence, has become a Catholic shrine dedicated to "Our Lady of Vocations," where prayer for vocations continues to this day.

Eliza Vaughan shows the difference one woman, one mother, can make — and how to make it.

As we begin National Vocations Awareness Week on Sunday, we pray, through her intercession, that other young mothers may share her faith, generosity, holy desires, holy means, and fruit.

Father Roger J. Landry is pastor of St. Anthony of Padua in New Bedford, MA and Executive Editor of The Anchor, the weekly newspaper of the Diocese of Fall River.