Strengthening Marriage
by Fr. Roger J. Landry - February 9, 2007
This Sunday is World Marriage Day. This celebration began in 1981 in Baton Rouge, when married couples encouraged the mayor, governor and bishop to proclaim St. Valentine's Day as "We Believe in Marriage Day." The event was so successful that by the next year, 43 Governors officially proclaimed the day and celebrations spread to military bases in foreign countries. In 1983, the name was changed to "World Marriage Day," and designated for the second Sunday in February. Since then it has continued to grow. Pope John Paul II specifically encouraged the celebration of the day, extending special blessings to those who participated in it.
The purpose of World Marriage Day is to rejoice in the gift of marriage, to honor the mutual love of husband and wife, and salute the beauty of faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life.
It perhaps was less important in past generations to have a day dedicated to the celebration of the indissoluble union of a man and a woman, because marriage was universally esteemed and celebrated. Young people spent years preparing for it and dreaming about it. Adults looked at marriage as the most defining commitment and reality of their life. It was the central reality that governed their approach to love, sex and children.
In recent years, however, the traditional connection between marriage, sex, procreation and childbearing has been weakened. This decoupling has led to higher rates of divorce, cohabitation, and illegitimacy as well as the new phenomenon of same-sex marriage. All of these, as they have become more common, have further weakened popular appreciation for the importance of marriage for the good of individuals and of society.
That's why it is increasingly important to have a day like World Marriage Day. It is important that we praise and celebrate marriage. It's important that we point out the various ideas and practices that weaken and threaten it. But neither of these is enough. What is most needed is for couples, the Church and society as a whole to look at, espouse and adopt concrete means to strengthen marriages.
At the level of couples, there are many solid means to make their marriages healthier and holier. One means that has helped tens of thousands of couples revitalize their marriages is the Worldwide Marriage Encounter Movement, which runs retreat weekends for couples, away from the distractions and tensions of every day life. Under the guidance of expertly-trained couples and a Catholic priest, the weekend allows them the opportunity to examine their lives together and share their feelings, hopes, disappointments, joys and frustrations honestly in a face-to-face, heart-to-heart encounter with each other and with Christ. The Massachusetts branch of this worldwide movement hosts retreat weekends every month. Couples interested in signing up for one or finding out more information may visit wwmema.org or call 800-710-wwme.
A second, more on-going means to strengthen the bond between a husband and a wife and between them and God is the Teams of Our Lady movement. This movement was founded 60 years ago in France by Fr. Henri Caffarel and spread quickly to other European countries. Decades ago, it took firm root in our diocese among Portuguese-speaking Catholics and has now spread to many couples in English speaking parishes as well.
The movement has a three-fold purpose: to help the spiritual life of a couple grow through a program of prayer and study; to improve the communication between husband and wife by developing intimacy through shared prayer and regular in-depth talks; and to make their Christian faith a daily living experience.
Each team is comprised of five to seven couples with a priest or a deacon as a chaplain. The team meets together once a month for dinner, prayer, guided reflection, study, and mutual support. The individual couples commit themselves to a manageable "rule of life" with various daily, weekly, monthly and yearly components all geared toward helping the couples achieve the purposes of the movement.
Pope John Paul II welcomed the international leaders of the movement to the Vatican in 2003. This great apostle of marriage "rejoiced" in the "fruitfulness the movement throughout the world" and praised its "pedagogy, based on concrete points of effort, that help the couple to grow together in holiness."
World Marriage Day is an occasion, indeed, for all couples to make "concrete points of effort… to grow together in holiness." The Teams of Our Lady are a great, highly praised and effective means to do that. Many teams already exist in our diocese ready to incorporate new couples or help them found new teams. Those who are interested in finding out more may visit teamsofourlady.org or speak to their parish priests.
Finally, it is fitting that we mark World Marriage Day close to the feast of St. Valentine. As much of society views Valentine's Day as a day of romance with little connection to marriage, it is worth recalling that St. Valentine routinely risked his life during the persecutions by the Roman Empire, to bring the love of young couples to fulfillment in Christian marriage. As his early hagiographers attest, he was arrested by the Roman soldiers during the celebration of a wedding and soon afterward put to death. He was a willing martyr for marriage, because he recognized its importance in God's plans for man and woman.
We ask him to intercede for all the married couples of our diocese, so that World Marriage Day and Valentine's Day will lead, not just to a rekindling of marital love, but spur them on to the eternal wedding banquet.
Father Roger J. Landry is pastor of St. Anthony of Padua in New Bedford, MA and Executive Editor of The Anchor, the weekly newspaper of the Diocese of Fall River.
